No Better Than

How damaging, the horrific injustice that is ourselves.

Believing this person who is capable of so much goodness, possessing so much critical change and contributory status within the world, believing this person not worthy of the sound state knowing that he is worthy, that he is strong…such tragedy.

Do not I know I am sound within my own shoes? Do not I know I am brave outside of form, frame, and mind? Do not I know I am courageous among my sisters and brothers, and amid my world? Do not I know I am kind within my own bag of bones and skinned shell to not sabotage the simplest opportunity of pride? No, this is not dirty-ego boastfulness, just unadulterated personal truth.

For I am, I am strong.

For I am, I am brave.

For I am, I am courageous.

For I am, I am kind.

I am all of this, I am all of this and more, yet many times I find myself flooded with deceit. Does my decree lack enough substance to even earn a resting place scantly within my own hands from time to time? Humph, seems as such sometimes.

Do I paint myself tall and stout, riddled with bullet holes yet impenetrable and tough-grit consumed so to face all comers? Or do I self-surrender, letting the lonely wandering field mouse have more of a say than I myself alone allows? Does not my pen wield a voice of sword-like strength? Am I not able to rise even when bloodied, willingly accepting all wrath while under full-full sun?

Yes, yes I am able to do all that precisely, and more.

Hence good as I am, I am also all that is wrong with the world.

Tenacious as I am, I am a man lost, stumbling, and as it may be…unworthy.

Loving as I am, I am one that shatters dreams, breaks hearts, and destroys hope.

Aim as I do, often I miss, only then to and ok fair enough, find a new way, a better path, an unimaginable utopian meadow.

Try as I will, I have lived to learn and know all this diabolical amalgamation of dysfunction as perfectly ok.

It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s really ok…I am no worse than any scholar, I am no better than any murderer.

I am, I am no better I am no worse than any woman any man.

I am every ray of light.

I am every darkened shadow.

I am every dead-end.

And I am every new beginning.

My thinking brain works, my body moves, my fingers write, my hands help, yet my mind plays the shopping cart jester…purposeful but pulled in every direction at random. Hence does this not make me human? Hah…does this not define me as ok, and not yet done? Does this not grant me passage to the way of the truthful, honoring thyself as just fractured and not all the way broken, verifiably fine aren’t I, me residing with eyes and heart ablaze, despite sat armless and legless amid the most ravenous wildfire?

Please do not misunderstand me…here I say with a lift and a push that I love you. I love you and you can do it. You can do it and this I know because I you and you me. I you, you me…we are one of the same one, of one blood one, of one mother one, of one evolutionary spark one, one love one.

I have tasted death in multitudes. I have fallen, I have given up. I have fractured. I have rose up off the floor again and again and again, laughing as my skin bleeds profusely, as my teeth crumble, and as my aspirations disintegrate. But here I am, still standing, still standing for what comes next and with every passing moment I gain strength, I grow in stature, and I grow into my infinite inner expanse, just as you can, long as you keep going and rising and trying, I know it. I know it, I know it in my heart of hearts and I love you.

My fears, I share.

My dreams, I share.

I share so to support, so to say my voice, your voice, our voice deserves its due.

My voice….my voice here solidly planted in the factual middle, no better no worse than.